I’m not where I want to be but thank God I’m not where I was!  

I recently posted an article on my Facebook page about things no one tells women about their weight loss journey.  This is going on year 2 of my weight loss and I have found the scale creeping back up.  I am back to the “200”s….204 to be exact.  November of this last year I pitched the nutrition ball into someone else’s court.  Trouble is it has bounced back and got me.  We went on a trip and I decided I was going to have Cracker Barrel (biscuits and gravy among other things) and lots of carbs that were not the good kind and it led to me eating more and more of that stuff. I kept this pattern up through Christmas until I said enough.  I slowly began creeping back up the scale.  The summer we went to Hawaii I was at my lowest 185 so how did I get back to an 19 pound weight gain…..I thought I had buried that old me but she lurks in there waiting to rear her head.  I have been gaining and losing the same 5 pounds for the last 3 months (can I get and amen).

I was encouraged to blog again by a few of you and I just didn’t want to be “transparent” in my struggle or show that I didn’t have it as together as appeared. I still have the desire to use all this for God’s glory but that pride thing has held me back.  I still want to pursue Physical training/nutrition but I always feel I can’t because I want to be believable and be that 150lb. “fit” girl that “looks” the part. I am beginning to see the lie in that thought.  These past few weeks I have been feeling like I should share the struggle of my story because I am finding that this journey is not an easy one but a consistent, fighting in the trenches daily battle.  I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t loosing until I plugged in my food to my fitness pal (the stuff I could remember) last night and it was a whopping 1700 calories…..not a way to lose the weight.  I am still exercising and loving the fit lifestyle but as they say the battle is won in the kitchen.  It’s 80% nutrition and 20% exercise.  I think it all boils down to that ugly word “flesh”.  Sunday the preacher told the story about the 2 dogs….well I have been feeding the wrong one (google old indian proverb about the 2 dogs) I have been feeding it literally stuff I know that originally got me in this place but then I cry and whine because the “scale” isn’t moving.  Time to get real with myself so I’m going to make my journey transparent and get back to blogging again.

I just want to encourage you  no matter where you are in the battle DON’T GIVE UP!  I could focus on how far I have to go or I can get wrapped up in a “number” but I don’t want to do that, instead I will keep moving forward. I want to learn from each step I take (hopefully I won’t have to repeat to many of them) and move on to freedom.

Today I ran across the passage Jeremiah 32:17 Behold, I am the Lord the God of all flesh, (theres that word again) is there anything to hard for me?  I answer with a resounding NO!

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