Absent and in Hiding

 

Noticeably absent is what I notice first when I look back on my posts.  It has been good to go back and read where I have been and what it took to get me there.  I have been absent due to the struggle within.  I have been steadily gaining back weight for the last 8 months and can’t seem to get back on track.  I had gained about 15 pounds back and was doing the lose 5 gain 5 routine.  In January of this past year my trainer that I had for a couple years moved away and it really set me back. I am now 22 pounds heavier and I refuse to give up on me and become that old girl again.  My trainer Jared taught me how to be mentally strong and I have so much to thank him for!  Through this process I am learning that its all on me and I am strong enough to do this on my own.  Somewhere along the way though I settled and started slipping.  I started putting everything else first…wife, mother, activities…people needed me right…I still workout and meal plan but not to the degree I was before and I want that girl back! I want to be the better version of me again that is happy and balanced.  No more excuses, I am going to take back ground!  I need to fight the old me and I can do that because I know her so well!

Keeping it short and sweet tonight…

Blessings Cathy

 

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No secret formula

I can’t tell you how many times I was asked what I have done these last few weeks. People want to know “What are you doing?” We’ll there is no secret answer. I have noticed over the years there are so many “diets” out there that claim to be the “one”. There is the old grapefruit diet, the cabbage diet, the Adkins, as well as hundreds of others. I have learned the secret and it’s pretty simple……..are you ready……calories in = calories out!

Overcomer

I love the song Overcomer by Mandissa. The journey I have been on this past year and 3 months has all been about overcoming. Today has been the best day for good news! I have been on Metformin for my diabetes for 14 months and today the Dr. Said the magic words (not so magic because it was all dedication and hard work) “I am taking you off your Metformin, and I would call you a non-diabetic”. I know I will always have this disease but being able to manage it with diet and exercise is words I have longed to hear! The woman that was beaten down and discouraged thinking it was too big a mountain to climb reached the top today!

The battlefield

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it” ~ Margaret Thatcher

I sit here a few weeks after blogging about my year of victory and how far I’ve come, to a girl fighting the same battle again. After my blog I was feeling pretty good about the success I’ve had and pretty confident in where I was going. I should learn to practice what I write and say. I should know that when you put it all out there you will be tested! I have had a huge struggle the last two weeks with my eating. I wasn’t able to exercise due to a virus ending in bronchitis and I went to food as comfort.

Anniversary of the death of a fat lady

This weekend marks the one year anniversary of what I am calling the death of me! I can’t help but think of the new Brad Paisley song “Death of a married man”. The song is a humorous parody about a man that has a heart attack, dies on the table and comes back to life with very different ideas about being married. I know it’s not related to weight but I chuckle when I hear it and think had I not had a life changing diagnoses, I would have stayed miserable and never known it.

Biggest loser

I have waited until season 14 to become a Biggest Loser fan! I must confess I had never really watched it before now, partially because I knew I would be convicted! I must say I am hooked and want to watch all the past seasons now. I really connected with Dani and Gina this year. My daughter kept saying “mom Dani reminds me so much of you”. I now have the attitude of killing it at the gym and I am finally starting to believe in myself. I personally think that weight loss is mental, sure it’s eating healthy and exercise but the mind is a battlefield! (isn’t that a song….oh wait it’s Love is a Battlefield). I can’t tell you how many times I wage war with my mind over snacking and eating the wrong things. Maybe there should be an app of Juilian yelling “don’t do it”.